Rules of the Game
by Hookd
Summary: A tumultuous relationship exists between Harvey and his fifteen year old son, Mike. Harvey struggles to mend the hurt that has been created between the two of them and restore the loving relationship that used to exist. AU Kid!Fic
1. Chapter 1

Harvey stared at the kid and wondered how they had ended up here. There relationship could best be described as tumultuous and now the fifteen year old was covering his noise as blood spewed through, clearly high. Harvey winced as the pain of his failure as a father bubbled through him and it took all his strength to focus on just getting to the hospital without fucking that up too. The kids friend sat in the back probably more out of it than Mike and swayed back and forth as he stared cluelessly at the roof of the car. Why the fuck was its Ray's day off he thought. Even his driver had a better relationship with his own son then he did and it killed him inside. He knew Ray would be able to comfort Mike, not that Mike was really with it. Still Ray comfort to Mike, would've comforted Harvey. That thought was just pathetic Harvey sneered at himself as he manoeuvred the busy New York roads, not caring if Mike dripped blood on his expensive Italian leather seats. In any other circumstance he would have killed him.

He swung into the car park and rushed to the door clutching Mike too him as he led him to A&E. Trevor trailed behind them. He couldn't hide the look of concern as he walked up to the desk to check him in. Mike began to laugh hysterically unable to control his emotions and unaware of what was actually happening. Harvey suddenly felt his stomach drop it better only have been a bit of weed he had done. The doctor came out immediately, clearly wanting to stop the disturbance Mike was creating in the waiting room. Mike kept trying to talk to people, well everyone bar Harvey even high the kid had a thing against him at the moment. He attempted to hug the people beside him, finally settling for hugging Trevor.

"Michael James Specter," a doctor called.

Harvey practically jumped up, bringing Mike with him. He gave one sharp look at Trevor informing him not to move.

"That's us," he said the panic still evident in his voice.

"How old is your son?" the doctor asked.

"Fifteen, he's fifteen."

"Do you know what happened?" The doctor asked doubtfully eyeing Harvey, and his expensive suit. Harvey didn't think he could ever feel worse until someone else had just confirmed he was indeed a bad parent.

"He was in a fight with some guys. I think he's been smoking some pot he seems pretty out of it."

The doctor let a small laugh out before he could stop himself.

"That's definitely not marijuana, in his system." all of Harvey's worse fears confirmed. "More likely MDMA, also known as ecstasy. We will know for sure when the blood work comes back." The doctor informed. Harvey just looked at him incredulously.

Of course he had known it wasn't marijuana how many times had he smoked that stuff and never had he responded like this, he usually just became giddy and tried to stuff his face with whatever was in the house.

"You can wait outside, Mr Specter. We can take it from here." the doctor informed.

"I'm not leaving him. He's not eighteen." Harvey knew he wouldn't win this argument especially since the doctor seemed to dislike him anyway.

"Well truth of the matter is Mr Specter, your son will probably need surgery and we need to see the full extent of the problem and parents albeit those who care or don't, usually get in the way and hinder the process. It's late, you probably have work in the morning so why don't you let us take care of him so you can get out of here as soon as possible." Harvey just stared at the doctor bewildered. How the hell did he have the audacity to say that he didn't care. Who the fuck even was this guy. The only positive thing was he seemed to be on Mike's side so at least he might fight for him. Everyone was always on Mike's side you couldn't help but love the kid when you met him. Harvey took a step back not questioning the doctors unprofessional manner and left the room. He paced outside until one of them came and out and told him that his son was going to be taken into surgery.

"Would you like to speak with him before we bring him in to surgery? He is more lucid than when you left him in here." This doctor was younger and definitely more polite and respectful. Harvey instantly preferred her.

He nodded. He was unsure of what he would actually say and do once he spoke to Mike and he felt himself wishing for the toddler and young child that used to worship the ground he walked. The little blond haired boy that would curl up to him and often fall asleep on his lap unwilling to leave him. He would cling helplessly to Harvey's shirts when Harvey would try put him in his own bed.

Mike lay sprawled out on the bed, an IV tube rehydrating him and he was hooked up to other monitors. The sight made Harvey sick. Mike looked relaxed staring out the window. He was clearly off in a dream state. He sometimes got like this when he thought about things, lost in his own thoughts.

"Hey Mikey," Harvey said softly, uncertain. Mike turned his head and glared at his father. If looks could kill well… Mike didn't say anything just turning to stare back out the window. This infuriated Harvey, after all it was Mike who did this to himself. It was Mike his sweet innocent little boy who took ecstasy of all things at the age of fifteen,] for gods sake.

"Trevor, shouldn't have called you." Mike said. "Actually, surprising you showed up." This stung Harvey and he stepped back looking at his son.

"Of course I showed up. You know I would show up whenever you need me." Harvey said his voice so gentle and defeated.

Mike just laughed in response. "Whatever."

"Mike, this is serious. You're going into surgery for fighting. This isn't what you do."

"How would you even know what I do, Harvey?" He yelled. Mike used his name like a curse word, something bitter and disgusting leaving his mouth. Harvey didn't respond, he couldn't respond. How had they ended up like this?

The doctors came back and Harvey watched as they wheeled his very angry son of down the corridor. His heart breaking a little.

"Donna," Harvey gasped clutching the phone in his hand. "It's Mike, he's in hospital." He hated showing his weakness to anyone but if he ever needed help it was right now. He needed someone to help mend the clearly nuclear relationship that existed and if anyone would be willing to do that it would be Donna. She loved Mike like he was her son and Mike loved her.

**Hope you enjoyed this story. Let me know what you think and whether I should continue. There will definitely be some flash backs to when Mike was a toddler etc and won't just be all angst and moody teen. x**


	2. Chapter 2

Time felt like it was not moving, he waited anxiously to hear from anyone. Donna had come and gone taking the imbecile Trevor with her. She promised to return as quickly as possible knowing there was no way Harvey could deal with this himself. He didn't even no where to start. The best closer in New York City couldn't actually close something.

He paced the floor continuously a hot coffee clenched in his hand. He feared going up to the nurses desk again, worried they would ask him to leave. In fairness he argued to himself it shouldn't take this long to realign a broken nose. How difficult could that really be?

When the doctor did finally appear, he was informed all had gone smoothly. Well you certainly took your time Harvey thought irritated beyond words. He was more concerned than he really felt like admitting, especially because Mike would deny he even cared. Harvey didm't like to show just how much that actually hurt. He tried to displace his anger. He worked even longer hours sometimes not even making it back to the apartment, even just going to the bar after work and picking up the odd one night stand. He knew that it wasn't helping but he just couldn't change. Old habits seemed to die hard. He turned his attention back to the surgeon.

"The nasal bones were out of place and broken in more than one location so it wasn't as quick as we initially thought. He was put under as you were aware and is still quite groggy and out of it but you are more than welcome to go see him?" The surgeon said clapping his hand against Harvey's back and leading him to Mike's private room.

Harvey stared through the glass in the door for a few minutes Mike seemed to be sleeping. He looked so peaceful and his young age was so evident. His hair had grown long and was falling over his eyes and almost curling at the base of his neck. Harvey's heart swelled with love and heartache, he was so like him but then these moments of his mother really came through. Harvey had never loved Mike's mother, Nina. She had failed to mention Mike existence for the first two years of his life and when she did, it was to drop him of on his doorstep, no warning and instruction, other than if it doesn't work out take him to his Grammy's.

Mike had been this adorable chubby two years, so curious and adventurous and then he would suddenly change becoming silent and thoughtful. He was definitely the smartest kid Harvey had ever met. Not that that was a long list. By three he was fully reading and reciting passages despite the fact he was still in a nappy. Initially, it was hard trying to balance his need to work and his drive with the familial responsibilities. He told himself repeatedly he had no clue what he was doing that he wouldn't be good for Mike. He looked at that slip of paper with Grammy's details more then he liked to truly admit. Mike had worked his magic though, he was in love with his baby day from the start. Everything Mike did made his heart swell until he finally thought there was no way he could love him anymore but then he did.

The transition from Harvey to 'Dada' had been fast but merciless. He could no longer go out or even work as long hours but he accepted that he loved Mikey. He even hired a full time nanny, a hot young student from Spain, Belen. The kid went to an exclusive pre school during the day. The brightest in his class, which would forever more the norm. Shortly Belen and him began a fling. He couldn't help it, it wasn't like he could really pick girls up at the bar anymore, not now. Belen was sweet and innocent and it drew Harvey like a moth to a flame. She was built like a model, smooth tanned skin with perfect wavy light brown hair highlighted blonde from the sun. She loved Mikey and Mikey loved her.

The problem came one Saturday morning, Harvey didn't actually have to work. He was giving Mikey his morning bath. His small hand tried to wrap around the rubber duckey but it kept slipping out of his too small grasp.

"Duckey," He would gasp each time it did, followed by a resilient, "Mineeeeee." When Harvey picked it up. His small hands outstretched and looking at Harvey in a traitorous way.

"I know Mikey, I going to give it back to you know," He responded laughing as he gently washed the boy's fair hair and shielding his eyes as he poured the water over him. He picked him up, wrapping him in a warm fluffy white towel.

"We're going to dry and get change, then we can have some yummy pancakes and go to the park. Huh Mike" he said stroking the two year old toddler's chubby cheek with the front of his finger. At that moment Belen walked in smiling down at the father and son duo. Harvey bent down picking up his son, encircled in the towel, to bring him into the bedroom to put on his clothes.

"No Mummy," Mike protested reaching out his arms towards Belen instead. She readily turned a bright shade of pink but reached towards in response to his request. Harvey stared shocked, mouth gaping and he looked from the baby now in her arms to him. He watched mouth open as she walked away.

Later in the park, Harvey had bought ice-creams sat Mike down on the edge of the bench to talk to him. He watched as his son contently licked away although he would swear there was more ice-cream on Mike than he had managed to get in his mouth.

"Mike," he began, "you know Belen isn't your Mummy?" Harvey said gently looking into Mike's large round blues eyes that seemed to cloud over with confusion at the statement.

"But in pwe school, they said Mummy and Dada live together with the baby and waise and love the baby." He said pointing his small finger from Harvey to himself. If it hadn't been anything else Harvey would have laughed at the adorableness and how much Mike's language had advance and how far he was ahead of other two year olds. Instead he felt rotten, he had confused his son and knew the only remedy would break Mike's heart.

"Daddy loves you Mike. Belen loves you but she's not your Mummy. Your Mummy lives somewhere else, and maybe one day you will see her." Harvey added not knowing what to say about her. Mike's big eyes scrunched up and he looked so sad.

"But Mason told me his Mummy and Daddy shawe a wroom too." Now Harvey really felt like kicking himself. "And they kwiss. He said only big boys could do that."

"Uh huh and how old is this Mason?" Harvey said only half realising he was trying to change the topic.

"He's fwour. He's a big boy." Mike said matter of factly.

"So are you Mikey." He said pulling Mike close into his side as he finished his ice-cream.

That night Belen packed up her things and left, promising Mike they would see each other soon but knowing they wouldn't. Mike cried for a half an hour thinking she was just going for a night but spent the next week crying when he sure she was gone for good. Harvey felt so evil watching his son beg and cry, knowing it was all his fault. He vowed never to cross that line again but he had already lost some of Mikey's trust.

Mike had begun to act out for a while after that terrible two's became terrible threes and Harvey struggled to replace Belen. It became impossible, Harvey torn between work and Mike. He finally picked up that piece of paper with Grammy's name and number and dialled it.

"Hello, Edith Ross?" he said standing on the old women's doorstep, holding a sleeping Mike in his arms. She nodded.

"Oh isn't he strapping," the old women gush. "Just like his Daddy." She smiled at Harvey and he just looked down, guilt already consuming him as she ushered them in. "You know, I must say I'm surprised Nina gave you my number, but I'm glad I have missed Mike for this past year. I haven't had much company since Nina left state and I was horrified to know she had left Mikey." She said shaking her head, clearly having no idea what those last words did to Harvey. Wasn't he about to do the same. No he convinced himself he wasn't, as he sat in the small kitchen and readjusted Mike on his lap. He would visit all the time, as much as possible, all weekends, he convinced himself in a rush. This way was better. Mike would be provided for and have a loving supportive parent that would be around twenty-four seven.

"I'm sorry, I should have called sooner, even so Mike could have just known his grandmother." Harvey said actually ashamed he hadn't. Knowing how he felt missing those first two years. Wouldn't he miss so much more now, he thought. No he assured himself he would visit, constantly.

"Are you sure you will be able to manage him?" Harvey asked awkwardly.

"Yes don't worry yourself." Edith waved a dismissive hand.

"Well I'll provide everything. He's already in pre school in Manhattan but I'll find a good one closer to here as soon as possible and of course I'll cover food and rent and anything else you can think of." Harvey started.

"Harvey, don't worry Mike will be in safe hands when he is away from you and maybe you'll have look finding a nanny so he can stay with you soon." Edith assured knowing this should only be temporary.

"Yes, well I should really get going it's late and no doubt you want to sleep." He couldn't stop rambling. He woke Mike up gently.

"Mikey, baby," He whispered softly, voice thick with stirred and his eyes blinked at Harvey's touch. "Mike wake up sleepy head." Mike finally rubbed his eyes and gazed up at him confused and looking grumpy and upset, miraculously he didn't cry or whine though.

"Mikey, remember Grammy. Remember we talked about you staying her for a little while and Daddy would come visit and do lots of fun stuff." Harvey said fighting off the emotion. Mike just nodded. "Well Mikey, we got here and now Daddy has to say goodbye. Only for a short while. I'll see you so soon. Okay Mikey. Daddy loves you so much, your his big boy aren't you." Mike just nodded again staring up at Harvey. "Okay, let's put you into bed," He said standing and following Edith into Mike's small room. He hugged Mike tightly before laying him under the covers and tucking him in. He leaned over pressing a kiss into this head and ruffling his hair. "I love you so much. I have to go though, okay?"

"Daddy, can we have pancakes in the morning?" Mike asked innocently. Harvey could feel his walls crashing down and the tears blurring his eyes and knotting his throat.

"Mikey, Daddy won't be here in the morning or the next morning but I'll visit and some weekends you can come back to your old room." He tried desperately to explain.

"No Daddy, don't go." Mike said beginning to understand and remembering his old Mummy and Belen and now his Daddy. "Pweese," He begged through tears reaching for Harvey.

Harvey leaned in kissed him once more before standing up and leaving. He watch the tears shake Mike's tiny body, and anguish building up inside him.

As he walked out the front door after telling Edith if they needed anything to call. He turned to take one last look at the house, he saw Mike's tiny fist curled hitting the glass window beside the front door, tears rushing down, his red face from crying. A part of Harvey died seeing him but after whispering I love you, he turned and got into the car and broke down. Tears pooled his own eyes and began to stream. He cried for the first time since his father's death.

**Sorry I have finally come back to this story... this chapter is mainly a flashback but will go back to the present in the next chapter, just setting up some background details. Hope you enjoy. **


	3. Chapter 3

The hospital was suddenly dead quite it was only then that Harvey realised just how late it was. It seemed unlikely he would make it in for that court case tomorrow. He didn't really care either, how many times had work come before Mike. His son was in hospital and Harvey knew that he was the main cause of this newly found delinquent behaviour. Mike was smart always had been, Harvey had corrupted him. He hadn't meant to but does any parent really purposefully set out to damage their child, their own flesh and blood. No, but somehow most adults bare the scars of some neglectful event or other. Harvey certainly saw his mother's handiwork every time he struggled to make any form of emotional connection. He was even struggling with his son now. The real question that swam through Harvey's head was what would Mike bare. He had a shit father and a mother that abandoned him. Hell even Harvey had abandoned him at a time when he was most vulnerable. He had turned his back on his screaming three year old son and walked away. Now he would have to amend that, well everything he could amend. It was hard to think that Mike could ever really move pass that. If he could do it all over again Harvey would never have walked away that night at Edith Ross' house.

He slipped silently into the sterile room. The sky was dark outside and only the small glow of the bedside lamp illuminated the room. He lowered himself in to the armchair beside Mike's bed and watched his chest rise and fall in his pattern of sleep, the only thing signifying he was actually alive. Harvey hadn't realise how exhausted he was but all of a sudden he could feel the weight of his eye lids as they began to droop. It felt like he hadn't slept in two days and he was sure that sleep would evade him for a lot longer. These were the tolls of fatherhood and Harvey was finally paying them.

Harvey thought back to his own father. He was a man that was loved instantly by everyone who met him, he was decent and funny but most importantly he was caring. He cared and he loved his family and Harvey wasn't sure that Mike had really experienced that. He couldn't remember the last time he and Mike had had a civilised conversation. He couldn't even remember the last time they had had any communication that could even be considered a conversation. Mike was the toughest case that Harvey had ever dealt with. If he was being honest it was the most emotionally draining thing Harvey had ever experienced. Emotions were foreign to him. Sure Harvey could bang any hot women but he couldn't remember a time when it was not just causal fun, a way to de-stress after a long day. The only women Harvey truly cared about was Donna, but she had earned it. She had worn him down and could see right through him. Harvey loved her, she was his family. He loved his baby brother Marcus but even he knew Marcus wasn't happy with how shit he had been as a father lately. Mike deserved so much better than Harvey gave him.

Mike rolled over and for the first time Harvey properly saw Mike's battered face. The bruise had come up and his face was swollen. He was patched with the dark purple and brown bruises. A small cast and a cotton patch were placed over his nose. The remnants of a dried blood stain remained but for the most part he had been cleaned. He was lucky Harvey thought and then laughed at the ridiculousness of the statement. Mike had begun to stir. He locked eyes with Harvey and instinctively rolled them towards the ceiling. Harvey wanted to yell at him. Hell he wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him till he grasped the severity of the situation. He calmed himself breathing in and out and for a few moments neither of them broke the silence they just stared at each other. Harvey taking in the full hatred of the glare, Mike was throwing his way. He sighed, sadness burying itself in him.

"Mike, we need to talk." Harvey finally caved.

Mike rolled his eyes once more before rolling over on his back and sighing.

Harvey couldn't help it. He snapped. "Mike, what the fuck were you thinking? Ecstasy, really, really? I thought I raised you better than that. You're angry Mike, great, take it out on me but for god sake don't damage yourself and your future in the meantime." He yelled loud enough for the whole ward to hear. He stopped trying to regain control.

He listened to Mike's controlled breathing. "You didn't raise me. Grammy did. Why do you even care about my future anyway it's not like you care about my present life or really about me at all." He said calmly.

"Mike… I'm sorry I yelled. That's not the way this should be handled. I'm sorry, okay kid. I'm sorry. I care… I do… I love you, Mike." Harvey tried. The strain in his voice was evident. He was scared, he couldn't admit it to himself but he was scared he was going to lose Mike for good.

"God why did Mum have to abandon me with you?" Mike yelled at the room before rolling away from his father.

Harvey could feel his heart clench. He could feel himself falling further and further away from his son and every time he tried to push forward he was forced further back. He was struggling, he was barely keeping his head above the water. He may not be exactly coherent in the way he showed he cared but he tried. He really tried.

Harvey had made an effort to go see Mike every weekend in his Grammy's and Mike spent every second weekend in Harvey's. Harvey could remember on Mike's fifth birthday going to Grammy's. He had a baseball bat, glove and ball all ready for the kid. He had wrapped them in light blue paper with baseball bats on it. A small birthday cared in his shirt pocket. Mike had run up to Harvey the moment he saw him coming like he always did. Harvey caught him in his arms hugging him tightly before placing him down. Mike's eyes grew wider and brighter the moment he saw the gift, if that was even possible. He was bobbing up and down on his feet, holding onto Harvey's arm.

"Daddy are they for me?" Mike asked the excitement gripping his voice.

"No they're for the birthday boy. I heard he was around here somewhere," Harvey teased. Mike retaliated by sticking his tongue out at him.

"Daddy, don't be silly. That's me," He said.

"Oh, is it? Well in that case here you go kiddo," Harvey said handing him the present.

Mike jumped up and down eagerly. Once the gift was in his hands he tore into it, shedding the paper. The moment the bat peaked out of the wrapping, his face lit up.

"I'm going to be like you," Mike said hugging Harvey.

Harvey could feel his heart jump, Mike was so easy to love. He had never felt something so strong and unconditional but every time he looked at his son he knew he would fight the world over to protect him. He took Mike outside and they began to toss the ball back and forth.

"Daddy?" Mike asked. "When can I live with you?" This question was Mike's most frequent but that night something had changed.

Harvey packed all of Mike's things up and brought him home with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**I know I have been terrible at keeping on top of this. I seem to only write when I get the urge but hopefully I will have more coming your way soon. Let me know if you want me to continue with it.**

**Disclaimer I own none of suits nor its amazing characters. **

Harvey lay down on the couch, every muscle in his body was tired. This had to have been the longest 24 hours of his life and that was saying something when you worked in a prestigious law firm in New York. Mike had finally been discharged but he was even angrier then before he ended up in hospital. Harvey wanted to yell at him for it but he knew that was not the place to start. The car ride home was quiet. Mike refused to talk to him, instead opting to look out the window as the trees passed by. Harvey tried to coerce a conversation from him but no matter how many attempts he made, he failed. Harvey wasn't used to failing but he also couldn't take it anymore so unwillingly gave up. Instead he relaxed back into his seat, staring out the opposite window. He knew he was going to have to call for help. It killed him to admit it but he was running out of ideas to find a solution. The moment he walked through the door Mike slammed the door to his bedroom and hauled up in there. Harvey sighed, the conversation would have to be postponed till tomorrow. He picked up his phone and found the number he was looking for. He stared at it for a moment before dialling. He could feel his heart drop just from having to have this conversation.

"Marcus, I need you," Harvey sighed reluctantly into the phone, to his little brother.

He heard Marcus' confirmation and he hung up. He knew he would make it up to New York by the following day. Mike worshipped Marcus, the way he used to worship Harvey. He couldn't deny the jealousy he felt whenever he saw them bond together more than Mike was willing to with Harvey. He was thankful though that Mike still had someone even if he didn't get to see him regularly.

Harvey awoke to the blaring of his alarm at eight in the morning. He hit the snooze button and rolled over groaning. He dragged his hands over his eyes trying to remove the sleep from them. He was not mentally prepared for this day. He groaned once more for good measure. He couldn't believe it had been five minutes when the snooze went off. He felt like tossing the alarm clock against the wall but stopped himself. He stretched, getting up and strolled towards the bathroom. He knew showering would at least clear his head but he felt dead on his feet and he needed to feign cheeriness to even attempt to provoke the much needed conversation with Mike. He threw on his sweat pants and t-shirt. It felt odd to have a day off, it had been so long since he had had one of these kind of days. It was necessary though. He threw together the batter and chocolate chips, to make the pancakes. That was a good start he thought. He cooked up a feast, the smell of cooking filling the kitchen as the soft sounds of Jazz floated through the room. A dull thud on the door called Harvey's attention at ten. Harvey smiled, pulling the door open. He greeted his baby brother who was grinning up at him. He pulled Marcus into a bear hug, he was one of the only people he felt comfortable enough with to do this, Mike used to be one of those people but not lately. Harvey couldn't pinpoint the last time he truly hugged Mike and was hugged back.

"Marky, it's so good to see you," Harvey said patting his back.

"You too, Harvey," Marcus said smiling at his brother. "Where is my nephew?"

"He's in bed asleep, a proper teenager," Harvey said rolling his eyes.

"Okay Harv, then let's talk about what's going on?" Marcus said.

Harvey sighed. "He hates me, Marcus. He just completely hates me. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know when it got this bad."

"Harvey, it's going to take time. Mike's a good kid. He's smart and sweet. He used to worship the ground you walked on Harvey and he still does, he just doesn't know it." Marcus said trying his best to give any bit of solace he could to his brother.

A half hour later, Harvey loaded the plates with food as Marcus headed to his nephews room. Harvey watched him knock on the door, he heard the grumble that came from behind the door before it forcefully swung open. Mike's hair was long and spewed across his face. He could see the angry scrawl across Mike's face and then the sudden realisation. A smile spread as he took in his uncle. He jumped out of his room and hugged the man in front of him. Marcus laughed pulling his growing nephew into his arms.

"Uncle Marcus, what are you doing here?" Mike said excitedly.

"I'm here to see you, kid. I see a number was done on your face." Marcus said gently holding Mike's face taking in his broken nephew.

Harvey watched the transaction take place and felt the same empty jealousy in the pit of his stomach. "Hey guys, breakfast is ready," Harvey said calling both of their attention.

They headed over to the island sitting down at the counter, as Harvey dropped the plates in front of them.

"Mikey, we need to talk about what happened?" Harvey started calmly.

"Don't call me that," Mike interrupted.

"Mike," Marcus warned.

Mike looked up at his uncle and sighed. Harvey watched the exchange as his son obeyed his brother, he sighed gathering himself together.

"Mike, we need to talk about what happened? You ended up in hospital for fighting and drug use and you're fifteen years old, Mike," Harvey said as calmly as possible. "Just what was going through your head?"

"I was bored. I wanted a high and the fight wasn't meant to happen. I'm sorry it did but it wasn't supposed to happen," Mike said the most sincere Harvey had seen him for a while.

"Mike, you did Ecstasy. This isn't something light, this is a huge deal, you're 15," Harvey emphasised.

"What do you want me to say, Harvey?" Mike yelled finally losing his cool.

"Mike we're just worried about you," Marcus said trying to calm the teenager.

"Kid, I love you and I don't want anything to happen to you. You did what you did though and actions have consequences," Harvey said.

"So what now you're going to try and be a parent," Mike taunted.

"Your god damn right I am," Harvey yelled.

"Well what are you going to do, dad?" Mike drew out his name like an oath, rolling his eyes at the same time.

"This summer, you're not going to stay with your uncle or your Grammy or hang out with your friends. You will spend each and every day in Pearson Hardman working your god damn ass off. You will be everyone's lack dog, hell you will be the mail room boy and you will not get a single break. As for your friend Trevor, speak to him again and you will wish I sent you to military school, you hear me Michael James Spector. It's time you learnt what responsibility is." Harvey watched for Mike's reaction but the kid was stone, not a single emotion flickered across his face.

"I don't think so," Mike grunted.

"God dammit, Mike," Harvey stressed. "Don't argue me on this point. I want us to do better kid. We both need to do better."

Mike watched his father for a few moment before he nodded in agreement.

The rest of the of the morning they all sat quietly eating breakfast. Marcus filled them in on his life in Boston. He was finally making good, he had settled down with a girl and was working solidly. Harvey was proud of his little brother. Mike had changed all of their lives, including Marcus' life. The day the sweet blonde two year old showed up at his door was life altering for all of them. Harvey was only twenty seven, his first year working back in Pearson Hardman after the DA's office, everything after that was a balancing act. Marcus and Grammy had been there for the first few years, Harvey worked insane hours and fought to earn his spot in the company. He was finally at a place he could relax and Mike hated him.

"So what do we have planned for today, then?" Marcus said finally standing up.

"Well, I say we should go to the batting cages while Harvey works," Mike said finally removing the scowl from his face.

"That sounds like a great idea, kiddo but your dad isn't working today," Marcus said smiling at Mike, whose jaw dropped as he stared at Harvey.

They slipped into the town car, Marcus being the peacekeeper and taking the middle seat between Harvey and Mike as Ray drove them out to Brooklyn to the batting cages there. Harvey first took Mike to them when he was six and could finally swing a bat with some force and accuracy. They were out at Grammy's for thanksgiving like they did every year. It felt a lot more homey and like the holidays Harvey had once enjoyed as a kid. The drive out Mike had been buzzing, they were staying the whole weekend and it was the first time he had promised Mike he wouldn't work and meant it. The minute they walked through the door the smell of turkey and pumpkin pie filled the air. They both stepped in sighing, it finally felt like they were home. Mike ran to his grammy and hugged her tightly.

"Happy thanksgiving, Michael," She said kissing his forehead. "I made some sugar cookies, they are in the kitchen why don't you go grab one."

"Hi Edith," Harvey said kissing her on the cheek.

"Hi dear, happy thanksgiving. Why don't you sit down we need to talk," she said setting down a tray of muffins. Her silver hair was longer than usual falling in waves down to her shoulder and the blue apron she was wearing was smeared with batter. She wiped her hands down her front of it as she sat down in the armchair.

"What's wrong Edith?" Harvey asked concerned.

"It's Nina, dear, she called asking about Mike and whether I had seen him in the last few years. She's thinking of coming back to New York and wants Mike back." Edith said.

Harvey felt like he had been hit by a ton of bricks. He stared at grammy and was for the first time in his life lost for words. He shook his head trying to clear it.

"Well she can't just come back and take him," Harvey objected.

"Dear, I know that but she's not coming alone. She's married to an investment banker, named James Ross and she's determined to see her son again," Edith warned.

"I'll deal with it when the time comes," Harvey said seeing Mike enter into the room, three biscuits in his hands and sugar all around his face. "How many of those things did you have, Mikey?"

"One," Mike said smiling slyly at him as he took a bite of the second cookie in his hand.

"Come here, silly," Harvey said pulling him onto his lap and hugging him close. The boy would make a hack of a lawyer one day.

Donna arrived an hour later, a large bowl in one arm and a wrapped present in the other. Harvey smiled when he saw her at the door. He took the bowl from her hand, kissing her cheek. Mike came up behind him and ran straight for her.

"Hey buddy," Donna said handing him the present. "How is my favourite six year old?"

"Donna, I missed you," he said grabbing onto the red haired women for dear life.

Harvey watched as Donna hugged him back, a smile sprawled across her face. She was the most consistent mother figure in Mike's life aside from Edith.

When lunch had finished and Harvey had helped Edith clear away the table despite her resistance, he wrapped Mike in a coat and gloves and headed out towards the batting cages, with Donna in tow.

"Where we going?" Mike said jumping up and down excited and looking between the two adults.

Harvey and Donna smiled at each other, before Harvey simply pressed his finger to his lips.

"I'm guessing the park, why else would we bring the baseball bat?" Mike continued mainly to himself.

"Mikey, you'll see soon," Donna said, running her hand through his hair.

They reached the batting cages and Mike's jaw dropped. Harvey had been promising for weeks that they would go but he could never find time. Mike stared up at Harvey wonder on his face, it was moments like this that Harvey knew he was Mike's world. He was his dad's mini me.

Harvey went and got a helmet fitting it on Mike's head, he stared into his son's light blue eyes and saw pure joy, his smile was so ecstatic, he almost looked like a mad man or an addict after he finally had his high. Harvey couldn't bare the idea of losing Mike, he pulled him in for a hug, before giving him a pep talk, tapping his helmet twice and ushering him into the cages. Harvey watched with pride as Mike stroke his first ball.

"Good job, Mikey," Harvey called. "Watch the ball and strike it in the centre," he encouraged.

Harvey watched as he readjusted his grip on the bat, widening his stance as he watched the ball come towards him, he held the bat at the ready before swinging it dead centre and watched the ball fly. It must have been the cleanest hit Harvey had ever seen Mike make and he could feel the pride swell inside him.

Donna and him cheered Mike on as they continued to watch the six year old belted ball after ball. Harvey thought it was safe to say the kid had a natural talent. When the sun began to set, Harvey picked a tired Mike up and held him over his shoulder. They walked home, to Grammys, Donna beside him. This was his family he thought, this was all he needed in his life.

Mike fitted a helmet on his head, after Harvey insisted. Harvey tapped on the top of it twice.

"Show us what you're made of Mike?" Harvey said encouragingly.

Mike just glared in return and walked away. They took the three empty cages beside each other and each member of the Spector family, competed for the best hit. They spent the afternoon, actually acting like a family. It was easy for Harvey to fall back into routine and at moments he could see a genuine smile on his son's face but the moment he caught him looking he'd scowl. When they had spent nearly two hours at the batting cages, arguing over who had a better hit or stance or anything they could argue over, they decided to leave.

"I think it's burger time," Marcus said, stretching out.

"Yeah, I'm starved," Mike said, leaning against his uncle.

They sat at a booth, Harvey opposite Mike and Marcus. Mike did his best to ignore Harvey like he had all month. Harvey could tell that Marcus was watching the minimal interaction between the father and son duo. Mike had begun to loosen up at the batting cages but they were back to reality and reality hit hard. Marcus tried to involve all three of them in a conversation but Mike was clearly done playing nice. Harvey sighed maybe Marcus could get through to Mike if he wasn't there. At least he might find out how Harvey could fix this mess. He took at his phone glancing through his messages before standing up from the table.

"So sorry buddy but I have to head into the office it's an emergency. You okay hanging out with your Uncle Marcus?" Harvey asked.

"Big surprise," Mike mumbled.

Harvey watch as the kid rolled his eyes for the hundredth time but didn't say anything. He could see even Marcus was glaring at him, in the 'what the fuck you doing?' kind of way. He threw some notes on the table and left, refusing to glance back after his abrupt departure.

**Please Review x**


	5. Chapter 5

**So it's been probably too long again, sorry. I know I suck with regular updates but I haven't abandoned the story, I promise.**

Marcus turned to Mike who looked angrier then he had seen him thus far. Marcus could practically curse his brother, for being such a fucking closed off idiot sometimes.

"You know your dad might have a shitty way of showing it but you are the most important thing to him in this world. Trust me, Mike. I know," Marcus said gently taking in his nephew's expression.

"No offense, Uncle Marcus, I know you love him and all but I realised a long time ago that the most important thing to Harvey Specter is Harvey Specter. Then, probably his job," scoffed Mike. He refused to make eye contact with his uncle. Mike couldn't help the anger that had built up, particularly in the last few years, regarding his father. He had done everything to be the good son. To be a son that Harvey was proud of, that anyone would be proud of. He was done though. Harvey was not the kind of Dad that Mike was proud of. So what right did Harvey have to expect anything in return?

"Mikey, my boy if you knew half of what you're father has done for you…" Marcus said practically to himself.

"Like what? Send me to live with Grammy when I was just three years old till I was five. Let Nina take me. Throw me off on whoever there is still left in this tiny family of mine that can actually bare to spend the summer with me or send me off to camp if he can't find anyone. Tell me Uncle Marcus did I forget anything else Harvey has done for me in the few thirteen years he has known of my existence," Mike practically spat. Mike couldn't stand it; he had blown up and exposed himself. And he hated his father even more for being able to stir these emotions in him. If he could have inherited anything from Harvey, why couldn't it have been his coldness? He pushed his plate away from him and without a second of hesitation ran out the door and down the street. Not giving Marcus an opportunity to say anything or even attempt to stop him.

When Mike reached the park, he pulled out his phone dialing Trevor's number off by heart. It rang for a beat or two before the usually raspy answer came through the phone.

Mike practically laughed in relief, "What are you on this time, Trev?"

"Mikey, my boy, mi amigo, my brother from another mother, whoops wait you don't have a mother," Trevor slurred down the phone.

The familiar pang of hurt stung his chest but he pushed the emotion aside. Anything would do right now to dull the pain.

"Trev, you at home?" Mike asked.

"Of course, the old ones are gone for the day," Trevor responded somewhat coherently.

"Okay, don't move a muscle. I'll be there in twenty," Mike said hanging up the phone and running to the subway station.

"What exactly do you mean you lost him?" Harvey yelled down the phone. His anger was palpable and if the terrified associate's face was anything to go by, he probably looked like he was capable of murdering anyone who came before him.

"Well now, Harvey, if you hadn't abandoned your son to go and play big angry boss somewhere, perhaps the day could have proceeded as it had been." Marcus retorted.

"I only left, Marcus because he would barely look at me, let alone talk to me. I wanted you to work your favourite uncle powers and find out how the hell I am supposed to rectify this god damn situation that I am currently stuck living in," Harvey bit back.

"Well maybe Harvey did you ever think that that is the problem you keep shrugging off your parental responsibilities onto other people when it gets hard. Stop running from him and just parent him. He doesn't need to be abandoned again," Marcus shouted. He definitely gave as good as he got but the minute the words left his mouth he regretted even thinking them, let alone voicing them.

Harvey could barely breath. The comments had cut him deeper then he would like to admit because he knew there was truth behind them. In the past Harvey had looked for easy ways but he had always assured himself it was the best thing for Mike. That Mike was his primary concern and he would always put Mikes needs before his own. He loved Mike more then words could possibly articulate and he had never in his own mind abandoned him. Maybe he had though, maybe he was a terrible father, why else would Mike act out this way?

"Harvey, I'm so sorry. I… I didn't mean it, I swear," Marcus stumbled over his words rushing to reassure his brother. The silence coming from Harvey could only mean one thing though. The words were raking through his mind and twisting a knife thoroughly in his gut.

After a moment of silence, Harvey finally responded. "It's fine Marcus, just go back to the apartment I'll go find Mike and meet you there," His voice was low and dead pan, no emotion betraying it.

Marcus sighed on the other line and reluctantly agreed.

"You know your dad will go ape if he catches us," Trevor said passing the blunt to Mike.

"Ugh Trev, could we maybe talk about anything but him," Mike sighed before inhaling deeply. The last breath of air felt lighter as his body began to relax and so did his mind.

"We should order a pizza, or two actually. Richie rich you got any money on you?" Trevor asked holding the phone against his ear.

Mike emptied his pocket pulling out two twenty dollar bills and his phone. He saw the twelve missed calls from Marcus and four from his dad. Of course Marcus would be the one more worried about him then Harvey. At least he always had Marcus and Grammy. He could be unlucky he and have no one. Mike took out another bud from the bag and began to roll another joint. After that thought, all he wanted was to relax.

He was nearly finished the second joint when a knock came at the door.

"About time," Trevor yelled picking up the money from the floor and heading towards the door.

Mike followed behind, joint in hand.

When the door swung open though, Harvey stood behind it. His face clouded with shock and then anger. He reached out grabbing Mike's arm and pulling him through the open door.

"Say goodbye to Trevor, Mike because this is the last time you will ever see him," Harvey threatened, his voice deep and seething with anger.

Mike was so taken aback that he willingly followed Harvey to the car. As Harvey reached forward and forcefully flung the door open, Mike seemed to snap out of it.

"No," Mike stated firmly as Harvey waited for him to get into the car.

"In the car, Mike. Now," Harvey said pushing him towards the door.

"Back up, Harvey," Mike yelled.

Harvey just stared and it was all it took for Mike to slip down reluctantly into the seat.

Harvey sat fuming in his seat, the anger was pulsing through him and he wanted to hit something, to break something. But wasn't breaking his son enough, he reluctantly thought. Harvey shock his head, he didn't need or want a pity party. Instead he looked at Mike, really looked at him. The bruising was still fresh on Mike's face. His eyes were almost electric blue because of how red the whites were.

"Mike. Please tell me how I can fix this?" He asked almost begging and Harvey didn't beg. "I just want to fix this."

Mike met his eyes and they were wet with unshed tears. Harvey nearly gasped but restrained himself. He hadn't seen his son this upset in a long time.

"What did I do Dad? What did I do Dad, that made you want to get rid of me so easily? That made you hate me?" Mike cried, unable to hide his pain.

Harvey felt his heart tighten and sick rise in his throat as he watched his son break down. It took him a moment to be able to collect himself and his thoughts.

"Mike, I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I know I messed up kid, I'm sorry. I swear I thought I was doing what was right, everything I did was for you kid. All I have in this world is you. I love you so much, Mike and I'll try better. Okay? I'll try," Harvey said.

Mike was staring at him, the tears still flowing from his blue eyes. He nodded in agreement.

_"__Nina, I'm only giving him to you because I have no choice but I swear if you so much as hurt him, in any way…" Harvey practically yelled._

_"__You'll what Harvey?" Nina taunted. "The judge agreed we have both made mistakes. So get off your high horse and stop pretending you didn't leave him too."_

_Harvey wished he could slap her, but he knew it was wrong and he knew she was right. _

_"__The difference was I saw him, every chance I could and I came back for him. You on the other hand haven't seen your son in five years." Harvey said trying to keep him calm. _

_"__This big bad lawyer act doesn't work Harvey. Hell you couldn't even keep your own son, some lawyer you must be," she said walking away from him. She turned around only to add one last remark. "Have him ready by five, okay?" _

_Harvey looked back at the courthouse, the custody case was finally settled after nearly six months of fighting and yet in one day his whole world was about to change. _

_He got into the car, not saying a word to Ray, other than to take him to Mike's school. _

_Harvey walked up to the classroom door, pulling Mike out of school early. He watched as Mike excitedly packed his schoolbag and ran out towards him, jumping into his arms for a hug._

_"__Where we going Daddy?" Mike asked unable to contain his joy about leaving school early and to hang out with his dad. _

_Harvey wished he had made more effort and that he had worked fewer nights. That he had spent most of his free moments with his son, _

_"__Well, where do you want to go?" Harvey asked smiling. _

_"__Mmm," Mike said, tapping his finger against his mouth, smiling secretively "I know," he said jumping. " Let's go to the zoo."_

_"__That sounds like a good idea," Harvey responded._

_Mike ran all over the zoo, excitedly pointing out all his favourite animals and anything they did which he thought was interesting, which was nearly everything. Harvey couldn't help but feel proud when he would sprout off random facts about each of the animals, facts that he had picked up from god knows where. When they finally hit the penguins they watched as one of the penguins protectively watched over a baby penguin. Mike laughed and pointed the penguin out to Harvey._

_"__That's you, Daddy and the baby, that's me," Mike said innocently. _

_Harvey nodded unable to form words and wishing he had the power to protect Mike from everything bad that he would ever face in life. _

_They got milkshakes and hotdogs and ate them on the way home._

_"__Daddy, this is the best day of my life," Mike said as took a long sip of the ends of his milkshake, sighing satisfied when no more would come up the straw. _

_Harvey nodded, unable to tell Mike about what was coming next but knowing he would have to._

_When the clock started drawing closer and closer to five, Harvey sighed reluctantly. He sat down on the couch and pulled Mike up onto his lap hugging him. He hadn't held Mike like this in a while and it didn't feel like enough now. Mike looked up at him, and Harvey knew, he knew something was up. Mike was too bright for his own good. _

_"__Hey buddy, I have something really important to tell you okay? I need you to pay attention and listen to what I have to say," Harvey began to explain._

_"__Okay," Mike said looking up at his dad patiently._

_"__Your Mummy, Grammy's daughter, Nina, remember you saw her last weekend with her new husband James. Well she wants you to go live with her and James and you can see me most weekends. Three Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays of the month. Which will be good," Harvey said more trying to convince himself than Mike._

_"__I don't want to go. I want to stay with you, Daddy," Mike started to cry._

_"__I know bud. This will be the best thing though, you'll see. You will have a Mummy and she'll have more time to do things with just you, that I can't do. You'll be happy, Mike. I promise you'll be happy," Harvey insisted._

_"__Why, Daddy? Why? What did I do wrong?" Mike insisted, tears flowing free. _

_Harvey's didn't think his heart could break anymore but it did._

_"__You did nothing, Mike. Nothing. Your Mummy, she really wants you and I want you too but I don't have all time she does to spend with you," Harvey thought this was better than telling the truth. He didn't want Mike to be angry with the person he would be living with for most of his life._

_"__I don't want to," he said stamping down his foot just as a knock sounded on the door. _

_Harvey answered the door reluctantly. Nina stood there beside James. James looked uncomfortable, almost as if he wished he were anywhere else in the world and Harvey didn't blame him. _

_"__Where's Michael?" She asked._

_"__I'll get him," he sighed._

_"__Mikey, your Mummy is here," Harvey said, trying to sound happy and enthusiastic about the situation. _

_"__Noooo," he screamed. _

_"__Michael, please. Be a big boy, be brave." Harvey insisted._

_"__I hate you, I hate you, I hate you," he screamed over and over. His sadness began to turn into anger. _

_They walked over to the door Mike's face was red and patchy from crying. The tears came more forcefully, unable to hide any of them. His dad pulled him in for a tight bear hug, not wanting to let him go. He kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair. _

_"__Don't worry Mike. I'll see you in two days, okay?" Harvey said reassuring him._

_Mike didn't answer refusing to remove his hands from around Harvey's neck. Nina tried to coax him away but he wouldn't move. Harvey finally sighed and pushed him away. He handed a bag he had packed for Mike to James, silently._

_"__I love you, Mike," Harvey said to his son._

_"__I take it back, this is the worse day of my life," Mike said tears no longer flowing free, as he followed Nina reluctantly. _

_Harvey stood in the hallway watching until he was sure they were probably in the car and driving away before sliding down against the back of the door and crying for the first time since his father died._

**Hope you enjoyed. Please review and let me know x**


End file.
